it all started a couple of weeks ago when i found myself sitting on a small wooden bench in the centre of a mud brick house. you must know, this particular house did not look much like a house at all; it only had three walls. as i visited with the lady who lived there, i learned that rain had destroyed her roof and melted away her wall. it was a terrible situation; even with four walls the house would have been too small and crude for a family as big as hers. i struggled to find words of comfort for her, and blundered through a speech about how God wants to build our character through trials.
it was strange because — for the first time — i found myself uncomfortable with such a message. this lady had been abandoned by her husband and left with five children. on top of struggling with HIV/AIDS and starvation, now this woman’s house is caving in around her. could God really have a part in that? i sat there feeling really uncertain.
but, to the extent that i was uncertain, my translator jash was sure. he opened up his bible and began to preach. the first passage of scripture he showed us was in haggai chapter 2. he read, “the latter glory of this house shall be greater than the former, says the LORD of hosts.” jash was telling this woman that God wants her to have a new house. he read us hebrews chapter eleven, explaining that God will show favour to his children if only we have faith that He wants to show us favour. jash went on like this for over an hour, and the longer he preached, the more i was unsettled. how dare he promise her a new house! i kept thinking. what if God doesn’t want her to have a new house!
i went home confused and sat on the bed beside my roommate kendal to hash it out. she asked me why i thought God wouldn’t want the lady to have a new house. “he just doesn’t work like that!” i retorted agitatedly. i thought about my sister, who has spent the last three years of her life sacrificing everything important to her to do what’s right. yet it seems to me like God hasn’t shown her favour in a very long time.
then i began to realize that something about my collection of life experiences thus far has caused me to perceive God as the sort of father who always works logically, giving us only what we need and nothing more than that. i’ve always known his love, but i’ve experienced it in a very controlled and balanced way.
and then i remembered back to when i read through parts of the old testament last year. i remember noticing that God is really different than i thought he was: he is wild and passionate, and sometimes he changes his mind for love. during my past few weeks here in rwanda, i’ve noticed that people here wholeheartedly believe that God’s love is lavish and beyond logic, and they know a lot of scripture to back up that notion. the scriptures are filled with verses about God wanting to give good things to his people, and most people i’ve interviewed for my writing project cling to those verses for dear life.
i’m happy to report that jash and my interview friends are beginning to rub off on me. though my faith is still shaky, it’s beginning to grow. i lay in bed last night and imagined i was a tree being tossed and bent in the hurricane of God’s love. i thought about the big hug my dad will give me when i see him in the airport in a couple of weeks, and how much larger is the love that God wants to give me. i prayed that God would make a way for this woman to have a new house because, as i’m starting to believe, he just does work like that.
God gave a good gift to the ladies at ubuzima through elim bible chapel!
Thanks so much Danika . Reading your blog makes me think of how habitually in my every day life I lean on my own understanding , instead of clinging to the great love of God which isn’t just His emotion , but His very character .
How little we know of Him. How lovingly tenderly He calls to us. Look forward to you coming home .
Faith like a mustard seed moves mountains…another paradox, in a place where we are lavished with material wealth, God reminds us that the things that last are invisible, so be willing to give what you have been given to store up treasures in heaven. In a place where people have nothing, they have faith to believe that God’s goodness will be shown in this life…that they will receive…God uses those who have not to preach, but through giving to answer the prayers of those who don’t have, and we both receive what we are really looking for… God’s rich blessing, His fulfilled promises, and there is equality in this world… Danika, i am blessed by your thoughts today. A grateful brother who is praying for you.
Amen, what else can be said but Amen
How much money does she need to buy a new house?