valence has been bartering with me lately. “when do you go home to canada?” he’ll ask. “in two weeks,” i say.
“five” he says.
“two” i say.
“okay, three.” he says, “but that’s my best offer.”
when he walked me to the bus stop today he did the same routine, and even though i knew he was joking, i could see the hurt in his eyes when we talked about saying goodbye.
leaving here has felt surreal for me until today. i mean, i’ve been watching my calendar, and counting down the days, but it didn’t hit me until this afternoon that i’m really going to have to say goodbye to these people. it was my last tuesday at ubuzima. the ladies sang and danced for me, they hugged me and made me promise not to forget them. it was so wonderful and so awful because at the same time that i was flooded with an understanding of how definitely they have changed my life, i also realized that i won’t have their help to express that change when i arrive back home.
i rode home on the bus, full of sentiment, and began to sift through all sorts of questions that i’ve been repressing for the last few weeks. could i have done more here? what will become of valence when i leave? what will it be like to be home again? has my character been transformed by the story of my thousand hills?
i thought about the daunting task of eventually writing a blog that will wrap up my story. you know, it will be really nice if i’m able to reach some sort of a grand resolution within the next few days. i’ve been paddling so hard, and i’ve been hoping to see some sort of great beauty when i finally dock my canoe on the approaching shore. but, to be perfectly honest, i’m still not completely sure whether or not God’s stories work that way
. . . i’m about to find out though. will you stick with me for a little while longer?
Danika,
My time goes by so quickly, a good reminder of how fleeting the moments are.
I think this is but a chapter in the story of Danika, I think the story continues with you in your life and in the days ahead, in some way. The beauty will be God shining through you; every day, today, tomorrow and the rest of your life, right to the end; wherever you are, wherever God leads you – always listening to His voice.
It will be good to see you when you get back, and I have enjoyed your writing so much, thank you for sharing your life and thoughts with us. Of course I’ll stick with you a little while longer:)
We are with you Danika…you are loved deeply…how much more by our Father who is in Heaven. Oh how He loves us.
This is just the latest leg of your journey your journey will not end until you reach Heaven’s shore, well then the next journey begins. We are proud of you and look forward to the next leg of your journey.
I’m picturing Reepicheep paddling to the edge of the light-saturated world — saying goodbye to Caspian and Lucy and all the great Narnian stories… but plunging into something greater still: further up, and further in!
Also, I LOVE Valence.
Tell Valance hello and give him our love … from his adopted Mummy.
Hello Danika, Josh sent me the link to your blog. I am so thankful he did- I started at the beginning as he suggested. You brought me to tears more than once. Thank you for sharing, God is shining through you. You are a gifted writer, my prayers will be with you as you prepare to return to Canada.
With love, Ruth Miles